I know people who haven’t been there may not understand, or people who have might not agree, but it’s very important to me to keep our pregnancy quiet for now for several reasons.
- Risk of complications: I am not really worried that anything will happen, but the reality is that something could. I have read lots of stories where a woman found out she was pregnant, went and told everyone, then had a miscarriage. The last thing I would want while going through a trauma like that is for everyone to know about it, ask questions, be involved, etc.
- Time to enjoy knowing with my husband: We are a family together, and we are expanding it. I know “it takes a community,” but in the end it’s us and I want this special time together where we have something that nobody in the world can touch and is not a part of. It’s our own private club, and I love having that with him!
- Avoiding questions: I like writing or shooting photos, because it’s a way to express myself without doing it directly. I don’t like talking about myself out loud, especially private information to strangers. When I was getting married, everyone knew it and it was the only thing they could think of to talk about to me… So, how’s wedding planning going? I can see it already this time… So, how are you feeling? When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you picked out names?
- …and opinions: As valuable as I find the opinions of others (I read tons of blogs and books- I love to know what other people think about all this!) I would rather seek them out or ask for the information as opposed to having it all thrust upon me. A continuation of the questions, I expect to hear a lot of: You’re not finding out the sex? Oh, you’re not getting ultrasounds? Really, you’re going with a midwife? At HOME?!? What if something goes wrong? You’re pregnant, you can eat anything you want. You’re not eating bread? But whole grains are so healthy and your baby needs carbs! You’re going to regret not having a nursery! I haven’t even announced that I’m pregnant yet, but I have already heard a LOT of these things. I am already getting opinions from people who have and have not gone through it, so I’m not excited about the influx once we actually announce it.
Of course friends have been asking, so I say, “We’re trying!” I hate to lie, but if I have to I will. I would rather be ambiguous though, and I am not going to tell anyone, “Yes, I’m pregnant” until we’ve told our families. When my friends were asking last night at girl’s night, I just laid it out… When I find out I’m pregnant, I have to make an appointment with the midwife to make sure everything is going well and healthy, and they don’t do that appointment until you’re about 8 weeks. Then, we will tell our parents, then I will tell you! So suspect all you want, but please don’t tell people anything or post stuff on Facebook.