WARNING: Whiny post 😦
Pregnancy is not only full of physical changes, but it is an emotional roller coaster for many reasons. While I am excited to give birth and start a family, I can’t help but think about how much is changing – especially since for me, a lot already has changed.
For some people, their lifestyle doesn’t change much when they get pregnant, but mine has, and I didn’t have any idea how much it would. I was never a Yogi- Luke and I played club sports like flag football and participate in Crossfit. Both are off the table for me since contact happens all the time in those sports, even though it’s not supposed to, and Crossfit is very intense with jerky movements so given that I didn’t have too much experience and my joints are so lax in the first place, I would be setting myself up for injury.
I also find myself to have far less energy than usual. I am normally a pretty high-energy person, but I just get worn out so much more easily. This combined with the fact that I can’t drink alcohol, and pregnancy has completely changed my social life.
Even though Luke is awesome and supportive and sympathetic, he is still participating in multiple sports and Crossfit, has plenty of energy to get through the day, and is free to drink as much as he likes. I don’t want him to stop doing the things he enjoys either and drag him down with me, it’s enough that I have to. (I’ve just asked him not to drink around me most of the time, though I’m not going to stop him in social situations…)
I am looking forward to the time I can get up in the morning on Saturday and have a big cup of coffee, followed by some power-house-cleaning and running out to shoot photos of the animals and flowers (in the future, maybe the kids!), write a photo blog post, then maybe a hike or a trip to the gym before showering and heading out for dinner and drinks with friends without feeling like I am going to pass out right there on the table at 10:00pm. I have no idea if my life will ever be like that again… I just didn’t expect that to stop so soon (except the drinks, of course- I was ready for that).
Now my saturday is more like: force myself out of bed at 10:30am, tidy up the kitchen while brewing tea, wish my tea was coffee, slowly clean (limping because I got a nasty cramp in my calf during the night) while intermittently stopping to rest by reading a bit of a pregnancy book (currently Ina May), checking Facebook, or napping, then cooking dinner for Luke and myself before sitting down for a movie and an early bedtime. If we’re feeling social, maybe we’ll get together with friends for dinner at one of our houses or a restaurant- preferably one that is not primarily a bar so as to make me feel even worse about the fact that I can’t have a glass of wine with dinner.
I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself, and sorry for Luke and my friends that I am not the same person right now that I usually am. I am not so fun or a great friend, and I have completely different things on my mind than I used to (obviously!). I wouldn’t want to be friends with me right now!